


I am the mess you chose

by dangerusliasons



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-07
Updated: 2010-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 10:45:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangerusliasons/pseuds/dangerusliasons





	1. i am the mess you chose

_I am the mess you chose_

xxxxx

 

"I am the mess you chose," the words ring in her own ears as she says them. She knows she cannot take them back, and she recoils at the harshness of them.

Hotch blinks but says nothing. There isn't a word or thought that comes into his head that he can tell her that will erase what she's feeling. She has a sharp intake of breath and then lets it out. She turns and heads for the double doors leading out of the BAU.

"You can't leave. You're a part of this team." Hotch hopes she doesn't hear the trembling in his voice.

After everything, she still believes him. She doesn't know why, but she does. After all the accusations, and Strauss kicking her off the team, for what Emily still doesn't know, she feels compelled to turn around and smile. But she doesn't. She turns, "Too little, too late." And with that she's gone.

Hotch is left standing in the middle of the BAU bullpen, already formulating a plan on trying to get her back. Damn the cost, to him personally or professionally. But as he watches her go, he doesn't think he'll ever give up on her. No matter what anyone else says.


	2. When it's just me and you

_When it's just me and you  
Who knows what we could do  
If we can just make it through  
The toughest part of the day_

xxx

After Hotch stands there motionless for long moments. He starts walking, he knows she can't have made it out of the FBI garage yet, and his walk turns into a jog. He needs to catch her. Needs to make her _hear_ him.

He catches up to her, walking lazily to her car. Almost as if she knows he's coming to try and convince her to stay. Even if she's already made up her mind about it. Hotch grabs her arm, gingerly, and slowly turns her to face him.

"Hotch..." the whisper is almost imperceptible to his ears and he almost doesn't hear it.

"You can't go..." he says this time more softly, his words are filled with need. He _needs_ her, the team_needs_ her. He also thinks the good in him might slip away little by little, if she left.

She drops her bag to the concrete, and takes a step closer to him. "I don't want to. This isn't my choice." She whispers, as she looks at him and if he looked hard enough he could see tears beginning to form. But he looks past that, at her face, her eyes, her lips and he takes a moment to inhale her perfume.

"It wouldn't be the same." His voice is just as soft as when he first spoke when he caught up with her in the parking garage. His right hand slowly lifts up and brushes along her soft cheek and Emily leans into the touch. Her eyes closing for a moment, before opening again to stare at him.

"Then what are we going to do?" She asks, and knows neither of them know the answer to this question yet. But Emily knows Hotch is formulating some kind of plan to get her back into the FBI and back onto the team. Emily smiles and moves a step closer and she can feel Hotch's arms easily sliding around her to enfold her in a soft and gentle embrace.

"We'll figure something out." Hotch states firmly, as the scent of her shampoo fills his nostrils. He repeats the phrase as if she didn't hear it the first time and she wonders if he says it again to convince her of convince himself. And she knew he didn't need any convincing on the subject. Emily knows he's trying to make her _listen_. And this time she hears him and doesn't pull away. The garage is slightly chilled from the cool night air and she shivers slightly in his embrace. "It's late." He says, pulling away slightly. They stand gazing at each other once more, though Hotch hasn't taken his hands off her arms, and Emily doesn't mind. She's grateful for the touch, she thinks if he lets go she might fall to the ground. She's too proud to ever admit that.

"I should be getting home." She says, and the words fade away as a gust of wind blows through the garage, stealing the words from her mouth. There is so much to be said between them. So much left to be done, and Emily wonders silently if they'll ever get around to it.

"I'll make sure you get home safe." Hotch replies instinctively and before he can stop them the words are out and they hang in the air between them. Like the elephant in the room, and a small smile plays at the corner of her crimson lips.

"Tonight," she says, "I wouldn't mind the company." And for the first time since all of this began, Emily thinks that everything might turn out alright.


End file.
